I hate that October 27th is THAT date on the calendar I can’t avoid. It’s a day that stands out, stark and unforgiving, etched in the darkest ink. Year after year, it approaches, unwelcome and unrelenting. Every year, as this date looms, the pain, sadness, and loss build to a crescendo, threatening to engulf everything in its wake. If time is a wheel, then the 27th is now the hub it spins around…
It’s hard to believe that eleven October Twenty Seventh’s have come and gone since my little boy, Richie “Rees” Specht, was taken from us in a tragic drowning accident. It feels like it happened just yesterday, the pain and heartache still as fresh as ever, etching that fateful day into my memory like a permanent scar. In fact, it’s only when I take the time to assess that scar that the realization hits that it formed over … Read More
Four years, 390,000 kindness cards and one promise.
Tomorrow, October 27th, 2016 will mark four years since we lost our little boy to a drowning in our backyard pond. That figure seems incalculably large when contrasted against how long each day, hour, minute and second felt right after my son died. Back then, time seemed to possess a cruel irony: Every second after he left us feeling like an eternity, while the 22 months he was here passing instantaneously.
Four years later and I have found that time has yet again managed to impart another cruelty upon me: It feels as though we lost him both yesterday and a lifetime ago. How can it be that time has both moved faster than I can perceive while simultaneously seeming to stand still? My memories of him seem to have faded commensurate to time’s passage, yet my love for him remains as … Read More
What was the worst day of your life? If you are like most, you likely responded with a date in which a close loved one was lost. In my experience most adults have lost more than one close person to them, so they usually lay claim to multiple days – not wanting to diminish the impact of one loss in comparison to another. For parents who have lost a child that struggle to choose one day does not exist… There is only one day that can lay claim to the title of “worst day ever”.
My worst day ever came on October 27th, 2012; the day I lost my 22 month old son, Richard Edwin-Ehmer (Rees) Specht. One of the truth’s of aging is that the longer we live, the more loss we must endure. In my forty years of life I have lost too many people that I considered … Read More
When we get to a certain age we are told that the trappings of youth are nothing more than fantasy. The belief in magic, fairies, monsters and Super heroes – things every child believes in at some point, ebb away with the steady flow of reality each passing year. As we approach adulthood those innocent beliefs of childhood are replaced with the acceptance that “The real world” contains none of these things. Magic: merely an illusion. Fairies: mythical creatures conjured by the human imagination – and existing only there. Monsters: the only “real” ones are labels we place on the most abhorrent of humans. Super heroes: Colorful characters who wear their underwear on the outside who possess powers that are physically unattainable. All of these things represent our desire for something more from a world that seems to take more than it gives as we age. The older we get, … Read More
The following poem was written by a former student of mine. I read this and was lost in its beauty and I just had to share it. What a beautiful tribute to my little boy, and what we are trying to do. I challenge you to read this without tearing up…
Sparkle
It was not the thunder echoing through the rooms,
Nor the lightning flashing across the clouds,
That shook me to the bone.
It was not the chilling air,
Nor the pictures of destruction of the television,
That brought tears to my eyes.
No.
It was the fact that I would never hold him in my arms again,
That caused my bones to shake.
It was the thought of never again seeing his beautiful face,
That brought tears to my eyes.
His beautiful blue eyes,
Like the water that stole him away from me,
Shining,
Glistening,
Sparkling,
Would never … Read More
Since Rees’ passing I have come to realize that there are no coincidences…
Today was a really rough day for me personally, and I was just not feeling the Halloween Spirit. Normally, I go all out for Halloween. One of the many perks of being a Middle School Teacher is that I get to dress up for Halloween and act out like the big kid that I am. Over the years my costumes have ranged from as simple as Fred Flinstone (whom I share more than a passing resemblance to) to my most complex one: a full, home made, Optimus Prime Costume. Keeping with tradition, this year I was supposed to be Captain America, and the girls purchased a Captain America shield for me to complete my costume.
As the day progressed I just never really got into the Halloween spirit, and as time to head out Trick or Treating … Read More