Everything that I have written since Rees’ passing shares one thing in common: it’s from my perspective – the grieving father who lost his only boy.  The pages of text I have placed out into cyberspace have documented my struggles and doubts, my ups and my downs.  In return, countless people who I do not know, and most likely will never meet, have showered me with support and urged me to continue documenting my grief and sharing my hopes.  Through it all I have remained the voice of ReesSpecht Life, and by extension Rees.  As much as I may represent the voice of my little boy, there is no doubt about who is ,was,  and always will be the living heart of who he was and what ReesSpecht Life is all about; my wife, Samantha.

Samantha and I are a couple that defies the odds.   We met in the summer … Read More

Tonight I was reminded of yet another change wrought by the loss of my little boy.  While out at our local deli with my girls, Abby and Lori, Lori accidentally closed the sliding door of the freezer on her sisters hand.  Abby’s immediate, and deafening response stopped me dead in my tracks.  I instantly felt the same fear I had upon my discovery of Rees after the accident… memories and feelings of helplessness instantly flooded me and paralyzed me.

Before Rees’ accident I was always very level headed with my children concerning injuries and pain.  Sam counts on my measured response in those situations, and up until Rees died I always kept my cool when things went wrong.  The day Rees died, in one terrible moment, my imperturbable nature instantly eroded and I was a frantic mess.  I knew CPR, but couldn’t remember the timings.  I couldn’t remember where my

I wrote the other day about what I am now labeling the hurricane effect: the creation of something beautiful from a devastating storm – and thought about how appropriate a metaphor a storm is concerning the loss of a child.  Storms are intense, violent and destructive forces of nature that are indifferent to our seemingly insignificant lives.  Losing a child fills you with intense feelings that roil like the waters stirred up in the wake of a storm.  Much like a storm initially bellows with a surge of water, the loss of a child fills you with a deluge of despair, and anger.  And just as we are powerless to stop the tidal surge from a storm, a parent who loses a child is powerless to fortify themselves against the raw emotions that ravage their souls.  The turbulent, storm fueled,  wave of despair fundamentally disrupts the natural rhythm of our … Read More

Edward Lorenz coined the term “the butterfly effect” when he tried to explain chaos theory and the consequences of  small changes on an overall system.  He rationed that in chaos, it was possible that the flapping of a butterfly’s wings weeks before could set forth a chain reaction of events that eventually leads to a hurricane somewhere else on the globe.  This effect is  difficult to quantify and effectively impossible to predict.  The very nature of chaos dictates that we should not be able to witness the butterfly effect in action, however we can easily discern its result.  I always believed that Lorenz was right, until tonight…

Tonight as  my family and  I attended the First Annual ReesSpecht Life Kindness Games at Tackan Elementary school in Nesconset NY I looked at all the people present and could not get over the fact that every single one of those people was … Read More