cultivatekindnessyinyangThis election brought out the worst in all of us and now it is (effectively) over.  Half of the country is celebrating and the other half is full of apprehension and fear.  As I write this my Facebook feed is blowing up with many of my friends and family lamenting the coming apocalypse.  I for one am actually relieved.  I tend to get worked up in the short term and then calm down and collect my thoughts and get right back to solving problems.

Nothing has changed for me tonight.  Nothing will change in January.  My path going forward is unhindered and the only thing that will change along that way is the scenery.  I remember the feeling of absolute hopelessness I had after my little boy died four years ago.  In that moment I thought I would never get past the terrible loss I endured.  It felt as if a part of my soul was ripped out and that life was just not worth living anymore.  It felt like my own little, personal, apocalypse.  The truth is it’s never as bad as you think…

Soon after Rees died I started to think about his loss, and its effect on me, and began to look at it as a problem that needed solving.  Life threw one of the worst experiences it could at me.  I recognized that this terrible negative could only be countered by a positive of equal magnitude.  The darkness of the void Rees’ passing created seemed limitless; requiring a commensurate power to illuminate it.  I found that power.  It is kindness.

It was the kindness of family, friends and strangers that lifted me from edge of the maw of hopelessness.  It was kindness that put a smile on my wife’s and my face when drove home from Rees’ memorial to see our yard completely cleaned up from the devastation of Hurricane Sandy.  It was kindness that put gas in our generator for the two weeks we were deprived of power in the wake of Rees’ passing.  It was kindness that reminded me of the best of people.  It was kindness that showed me that, no matter how bad things are, a generous act can always lift you up.  Kindness proved that no matter how far life may seem to beat you down, It’s never as bad as you think it is…

If it weren’t for Rees’ death, I don’t think I would have ever had the perspective I do now about just how powerful kindness is.  Seeing it’s power, in contrast to the devastation I felt, gave me hope where none existed before. It turns out that hope is the key.  Hope is the dividing line between darkness’ Yin and light’s Yang.  Hope is what got me through the worst time of my life – and if you let it in, it will help you get past the feelings you may have right now.

Hope is the secret ingredient that is baked into our democracy.  The founding fathers were wise men who understood that the way forward is accomplished by balancing the disparate views of the electorate.  The balance is not static – it is constantly in motion, tipping back and forth over time.  It turns out that hope is the fulcrum upon which everything is balanced.  Just when you think things will go too far on one side, hope shifts the load to bring balance back.  It may often seem like things are going to tip too far and bring the whole system down, but it’s never as bad as you think it is…

So tonight I sit here with that truth in mind.  Just as hope kept me from teetering into the maw of oblivion after Rees’ death, it will get you through this time.  And if you are happy with outcome, hope will help you see better days ahead.  So as we move forward into the next four years, let’s not let our differences divide us.  Let’s look to what we share, and cultivate that.  My mission this morning was to cultivate kindness, and it will remain my mission when I awake tomorrow.  Nothing has changed other than the scenery.  Don’t let divisiveness rule the day.  Let’s focus on the things that matter and let the other stuff balance itself out on the see-saw of life.  Regardless of how you feel today, the power to make the world a better place still resides in you.  It is my hope that you will continue to cultivate it, one kind act, one Rees’ piece, at a time…

RICH SPECHT is a father of four who holds a bachelor’s degree in biology from the University of Mary Washington and a master’s degree in liberal studies from Stony Brook University.  Prior to embarking on his career as a public speaker and advocate for kindness, Rich was a science teacher for 15 years at Great Hollow Middle School, in Nesconset, New York.  In addition to his speaking, Rich is also the published author of the award winning children’s book  A Little Rees Specht Cultivates Kindness.  Rich and his wife, Samantha, are the co-founders of the ReesSpecht Life Foundation which they formed in the wake of the loss of their only son, Richard Edwin-Ehmer (Rees) Specht at 22 months old.  The acts of kindness that the family received after Rees’ passing inspired them to “pay forward” that kindness; which the foundation does in the form of scholarships for High School seniors who demonstrate a commitment to their community, compassion and respect, as well as the distribution of almost four hundred thousand ReesSpecht Life “pay it forward” cards.  The themes and characters from Rich’s book(s) are currently slated to become an animated children’s television series.  The book and television adaptations of A Little Rees Specht Cultivates Kindness represents the culmination of Rich’s goal to help make this world a little better, one Rees’ piece at a time.  Rich currently resides in Sound Beach, New York with his wife, Samantha, daughters, Abigail, Lorilei and Melina as well as his angel above, Rees.

 

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